There's not a star in heaven that we can't reach

Sunday, March 04, 2007

frozen memories.

i can't sleep. everything i ever knew is a lie, without you.
i can't breathe. when my heart is broke in two, there's no beat, without you.
you're not gone, but you're not here.
is that the way it seems tonight?
if we could try to end these wars, i know that we can make it right.
how can i leave, when everything that i adore, and everything i'm living for,
boy, it's in you.
i can't dream. sleepless nights have got me bad.
the only dream i ever had, is being with you.
i know that we can make it right, it's gonna take a little time.
lets not leave ourselves with no way out, lets not cross that line.
this loneliness that's in my heart, won't let me be apart from you.
i don't wanna have to try, boy, to live without you in my life, so, i'm hoping we can start tonight.
remember that i made a vow, that i would never let you go.
i meant it then, i mean it now.
and i want to tell you so.

*new blog, ask ME for url.

;im poised
~~5:24 PM~~

Saturday, February 24, 2007

so, bring me in from the cold with your love.

i have a dozen of homework to be completed this weekend, ahh die die die. :( the past week had been very good and very bad at the same time. all to the extreme ends. anyways, chinese new year was da bomb ! :D i got to see the cousins again and we caught up through gambling, hahaha pretty dumb but yeah no doubt it was fun. i've lost and i've won, no big hoo-has over that. then, i met up with the lovely girlfriends on the second night of cny, supposedly to celebrate eunice's birthday, but they ended up celebrating in the club ! ohwells. but yes my love, i still love you very much although i wasn't there with you, haha and i'll give you your present soon ! i know you had a very sexaye seventeenth. ;D
the third day of new year, we all went over to grace's place. haha it was awesome, we played bridge and there was an interesting story-telling session. mmhmm, then we watched "stay alive" and it was hell gruesome ! afterwhich i met up with the cutest crow on earth for prata hahaha. :) we had a nice talk near the fountain at my place, no doubt it was a beautiful night and i'm glad you were there with me. love you love you love you !
school was even more hectic than last week. wednesday we had training all the way at the hockey village. it was super far and and we didnt really have much fun. did suicide run which was almost close to suicidal haha.
and thursday was the worst day ever. we had something like detention cos we didn't hand in our work. had to copy notes 5 times and my hands never hurt so much before. and we all went back at around six plus.
yeah friday was good, cos training was cancelled ! :D haha so weilin, seow wei and i went shopping ! but it wasnt really successful, we only managed to get accessories. then we ended up eating at billy bombers which was so good cos i haven had that for real long.
and i'm so dead, i haven start on any of my homework yet. haha i shall start tmr, hope i'll be able to complete though, and pass my math test on monday? okay, sounds a bit impossible but i shall try, haha !
and to all the anons out there, i just wanna say that i don't give a shit about what you think of me, my character, my actions or whatever. cos it's so obtrusive that your intelligence level is wayy down there and i'm a million times smarter than you morons? i'm sorry but i don't talk to stupid people. erm, have fun entertaining yourselves. :)

i see you standing there by the door,
i get the feeling that we've been here before.
watching emotions like runaway trains,
we shouldn't miss again.

;im poised
~~11:17 PM~~

Friday, February 16, 2007

paint my love.

this week passed by incredibly fast. it was pretty hectic, ccas, tests and gazillion of other stuff.

on monday, i took half a day off to go settle some stuff but erm sad to say, it was a major disppointment.

tuesday, i skipped ballet (ah sadness) and went for lunch with mommy. then i went home and completed my jae, which i had thought through a million times and made sure i would never ever regret my choices. BUT sad to say, i'm totally regretting and i dont know what to do. all i can do is pray super hard that cj will take me in again. please please please.

wednesday was valentine's day. i was so happy when i stepped inside the class cos there were so many chocolates, cookies and notes, etc on my table ! :D :D :D heh. yeah then we had stupid econs test which i didn't study, ahh, i hope i don't fail it too badly. :( mm, then my nice nice nice emo buddy did the dedication thingy on the screen yayy ! :) and we took retarded pics in class haha. like the ah LiAnZ pOsEz HAHAHA. but im not gonna post all the ten poses cos it's really super retarded. but i'll post some. :) yeap then the afternoon was spent in class playing truth or truth, which was super funny and then we had training in the late afternoon. i completely lost my stamina, died after 5 rounds, haha sucks please. then we played matches against each other under the scorching sun before slacking in the gym. i just sat down and cycled like half an hour away, it was so shiok i tell you, i can go on for like 5 hours, hahaha! after training, went for dinner with cj people. everywhere was super packed so we only managed to have dinner at round nine plus ten. it was really fun though. :D

mmhmm, thursday was slack, i managed to pon pe lesson haha so i ended up listening to my ipod with weilin and half doing geog. presentation for geog was super easy cos our question had very limited information. freaked out at first because there was really nothing much to say, but turns out it was meant to be like that. haha ! then i met leemay for lunch and we had an awesome time bitching and planning hoho ! gwen joined us during her break before heading back to work. i went home after that cos of CURFEW, goshhh.

yeap and friday, today was a halfday ! :) had two lectures before watching the performance at the auditorium. i had so much fun with the classmates today. :D and the performance emanates this really heart-warming and family feeling. i almost cried when i realised i might not be able to stay in cj. gosh, why am i so stupid for not putting cj as first choice ! :(

part of the song:

wo ai ni, cjc

just like lao shu ai da mi

aww, doesn't really convey much, but no doubt, i love cjc.

yeahh, and grace and alicia crashed cj today ! naughty naughty haha. we went for lunch at madjacks together with jasmine, xavier, mark, ian, xinru, xinya, randall, shane, daniel, shaoren etc. afterwhich we went over to mark's place to play cards. then i went home for reunion dinner. yes skipped physical training today. :X ohwells, we're gonna play on the pitch tmr, hoho, pretty exciting. :D

yes now im really dead beat, going off after posting pics ! tahhh.

it's every little thing you say,

that makes me wanna feel this way.

there's not a thing that I can point to

cause it's every little thing you do.

;im poised
~~8:05 PM~~

Sunday, February 11, 2007

I'll give the strength that you need.

a futile shopping attempt with the ladies today. damn. we ended up chatting at the ever-freezing subway for quite awhile, before heading over to cine's cafe cartel. to sum it all, i enjoyed myself very much today. thank you dears, you girls are the best. <3

it's so hard to find,

to leave the pain behind.

when all the things you're looking for,

your heart can't seem to find.

;im poised
~~11:36 PM~~

Saturday, February 10, 2007

serenade the mooonlight.

A big fat disappointment.
what ever happened to goals and aims and all those bullshit? i admit, i have only myself to blame for the state i'm in now, for the results that i've received. it's not that bad i know, but it's what others expect of me that i'm bitter about. i've failed every single soul out there, especially my tutor. it was a major disapointment for her cos i couldn't even secure an A1 for that subject, that particular subject that i used to top, excelled, loved. i knew i'll only managed an A2 right after the paper, cos of some stupid mistakes i made. it's not that i did not know how to do, more like i didn't read the question properly. thats the worst thing ever. i'd rather be dumb, cos at least that way, i know i did my best. but no, i just didn't put in all my effort and hundred percent concentration in doing the paper. maybe i was too complacent. whats new.
and i've failed myself terribly. i was expecting something better. now it feels like someone just thrown me down from the hundredth storey suddenly. it's just so painful and shocking. this is not what i want at all. but after i asked myself did i really work hard for what i wanted? my answer is no, i didn't. so i guess i have no right to complain or sulk. and besides there's really no point regretting now. whats done cannot be undone. i'm still sad nonetheless, but what can i do? just pray that i'll at least learn something from this.
i'm out of here, and no, i'm not gonna cry anymore.

i get so lonely in this crowd.
i want to scream but make no sound.
and yeah, i'm lost.
but maybe i'll be fine.

;im poised
~~12:31 PM~~

Thursday, February 08, 2007

like a star that guides a ship across the ocean.

tomorrow's D-day. i'm so scared right now. actually i've been freaking out since the last paper. i have no idea how well or bad i'm gonna do cos i really do not want to think about it. the more i think, the more i feel like crying. i have zero confidence and hundred percent of uncertainty. afterall, my future depends on tomorrow, that insidious slip of white paper. and besides feeling scared, there's anxiety as well. of course i'll want to know my results but at the same time, i'm not sure if it'll be anything i want to see. and if this is bad enough, i'm feeling worse, cos there's no one for me to share this with. at least, not anymore. okay i think i'm just being emo and stupid, i'll get over this, i will i will. hopefully. ahhh yes, good luck to all who're collecting results tomorrow !

anyways, on a much lighter note, we went for class lunch today ! :D that probably was the only thing that made my day. so much joy and laughter, 1t08, i'm gonna miss you guys like crazy. we went for sake buffet at heeren. sushi was so good, i haven had that for so long. but yeah, was super bloated towards the end. and mister tan joined us ! :D hahaha, i swear he's the coolest teacher ever. oh, 1t08, you all know why. ;) shhhh, it's a secret.

after the long lunch, some went home while the rest of us went to play pool. or rather, we all went to "chewww" (chill) like what yui wing always says hahaha. and i was just sitting down and watching them play haha cos i so do not want to embarrass myself. haven touched pool for like two years ! :/ how bad is that man. and i found out that that pool place is such a great place to stone and people-watch. haha.

mm, i left slightly earlier than the rest cos i was so so tired, physically and emotionally drained. yeah i know i did nothing, can't explain why i'm feeling like that too. maybe it'll be better tomorrow. or much worse. okay, of course i hope for the former. -crosses fingers-